A snack attack shouldn’t make a snacker sick ☹

You might say that this is a different kind of food poisoning—I simply get “poisoned” by about half the foods that I’d like to eat.

This past Friday afternoon, while doing some last-minute shopping for Shabbat, I found a delicious snack called Orga Super Crisps Original.  It’s OU kosher, vegan, gluten-free, and organic.  This is the entire list of ingredients:  organic flax seed, organic sunflower seeds, organic chia seeds, organic sesame seeds, organic pumpkin seeds, organic chickpea flour, Himalayan pink salt.  I really pigged out on them, and my husband had quite a few.  I figured these crisps would be a great healthy snack for just about anyone who isn’t allergic to sesame.

Famous last words.

The next day, my husband found that he felt a bit off-balance while walking to synagogue, and decided that it would be wise for him to refrain from holding or carrying a Torah scroll.  I, too, noticed that I was even more off-balance than usual.  So my husband asked whether seeds can cause dizziness.

According to “Dr. Google,” the answer is “yes.”  ☹ Apparently, eating large quantities of flax seeds can lower a person’s blood pressure.  ☹

Sigh.

I can’t eat dairy, so mozzarella sticks, a former favorite snack of mine, are off the menu—I haven’t eaten one in years.

I can’t eat gluten, so my choice of crackers is limited—rice cakes are ridiculously bland, and buckwheat crispbreads are often impossible to find.

I can’t eat too much fruit, or I'll pay for it later.

I can’t eat too many raw veggies, especially salad greens, lest I get painful gas cramps.

I can’t eat too many nuts or peanuts because they aggravate both my acid reflux and my kidney stones. 

And now, I can’t eat seeds, either.  ☹

I don’t have snack attacks—I have snacks attacking.

I don’t get into food fights—food fights *me.*

Apparently, there’s no such thing as a safe and healthy snack for a person with IBS.

And you wonder why I live on parve gluten-free cookies between meals.